POLITICSA few years ago, Japan’s Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English Conversation training before he visited Washington and met president Bill Clinton.
The instructor told Mori “Prime Minister, when you shake hands with President Clinton, please say ‘how are you’. Then Mr. Clinton will say,” I’m fine, and you?” Now you should say ‘me too’.
Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you.”
It looked quite simple, but the truth was…
When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said “Who Are You?”.
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
“Well, I am Hilary’s husband, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.”
Then Mori replied confidently “Me too, hahaha…hahaha…”
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.
ROUTE 142
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142
DIVORCE
The wife replies, 'the children are really mine, i carried them for nine months and spent hours in labor birthing them! He didn't really do anything!' The judge nods thoughtfully, recognizing the validity of her reasoning and asks for the husbands defense.
ROUTE 142
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.
The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142
DIVORCE
A couple get a divorce and are in negotiations for the custody of their children. The judge asks each of them to defend their reasoning for their rights to sole custody.
The wife replies, 'the children are really mine, i carried them for nine months and spent hours in labor birthing them! He didn't really do anything!' The judge nods thoughtfully, recognizing the validity of her reasoning and asks for the husbands defense.The husband thinks for a minute and replies, 'Your honor...if you put a dollar into a coke vendor machine and a coke pops out. does that coke belong to you or the machine?'....
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